


Waiting

by vilfaras



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Angst, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-16
Updated: 2015-04-16
Packaged: 2018-03-23 06:29:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,914
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3757945
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vilfaras/pseuds/vilfaras
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She promised she would wait for him, and kept to her word. But fate had proven itself to be merciless several times over during the course of the war, and all she can do is continue waiting, and hope that he knows.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Waiting

The weather was too cold, but she was glad she made sure that the both of them wore enough layers to fend off most of the chill. Shepard got out of the hover car and breathed in the fresh air; white mist puffed from her lips as she exhaled. She looked around her surroundings and gave a small smile. It was a good location. She could hear the waves from the ocean on the pavement that she was standing on. There were still trees in the area due to the fact that this was one of the few places that the Reapers had not managed to destroy. 

It had been easy to obtain the house that sat on the rocks by the ocean. It was an old Victorian styled cottage that Shepard had managed to find during one of her house hunting quests. There were apartments readied for their own use in the city but she wanted somewhere more secluded, less hectic and definitely near the ocean for them. She had just wanted to get away from everything. Her status as the war hero that brought down the Reapers was enough to guarantee the buy over and she even got a discount from the owner. 

A loud thump brought her out of her thoughts and she turned around to find James looking at her apologetically, lifting the suitcase that he had apparently dropped over his shoulder and nodded. “I’ll bring the luggage into the house. You need help with him?” James tilted his chin to the car. 

“It’s okay. I can manage.”Shepard gave him a smile and wrapped her arms around herself to stop a shiver when a gust of wind blew. “Thanks, Vega.” 

“No problem, Commander.”

She clasped her hands together and brought them to her lips, and tried to warm them with her breath.

It was cold, but she was certain when spring came, this place would be beautiful. And warmer. 

They could wait. 

Slowly, she moved towards the car and opened the door. Shepard propped a forearm at the frame and leaned in slightly. “You ready to see our new place?” She tried to give him a grin and reached out to rearrange the scarf she had wrapped around his neck for extra warmth. 

He didn’t answer. 

She didn’t expect him to. He hadn’t answered for years, but she didn’t stop believing he would one day. 

Kaidan sat unmoving in the back seat; blank eyes stared at the passenger seat’s head rest. It had broken her heart when she first saw him like this. 

In a paralysed state; unresponsive. Eyes wide open but unseeing. 

The first month had been hard on her and on his mother. Winning the war was supposed to give them hope; hope that they could finally lead the life they had talked about. Visiting the English bay; taking his mother on a trip to another planet; settling down and maybe have a couple of kids. 

She had survived the odds again; but fate decided to be cruel. 

It decided to take him from her in one of the most merciless way possible, to leave nothing but a shell of him to her. 

Shepard sighed softly and planted a gentle kiss on his cheek. “Come on, let check out the house. The previous owner was so eager to sell this summer house to us, I think it’d be great. At least the photos looked great.” She let out an honest chuckle. 

With an arm hooked across his back and under an arm; the other under his knees, Shepard slowly hoisted Kaidan out of her car and placed him in the wheelchair that James had set up for her. She was grateful that her cybernetics remained intact enough to support her still recovering body. The commander had decided that she preferred to tend to him herself instead of getting a nurse to aid them. 

She needed him to feel her and know she was there.

Hope, whatever little that was left, made her believe that her constant presence and touch would help him somehow. That maybe one day he would finally return to her to the way he was before, but time and lack of results tend to dwindle what little hope there was left. 

Shepard blinked back the sudden onset of tears that burned her eyes. No, she refused to tear up in front of him. With a sniff, she verbally blamed it on the cold weather as she took hold of the handles behind the wheelchair and slowly pushed him towards the small cottage that would serve as their home from that moment onwards; making small, one-sided chat as she walked them into their new home.

Vega had turned on the heating system in the house and was tending to the old fashioned fireplace.

She was glad that the lieutenant had offered to help out when he’d heard of her plans to move away from the city. Shepard had to admit that she was very appreciative of James’ understanding that she needed to be away from all the attention. He had offered to help, but did not force her into accepting it, and had just quietly allowed her to take her time to ask him for it. His presence had been comforting to her. 

Slowly, she moved around the cottage, inspecting the place with the major in tow. 

“Huh, not bad!” She exclaimed when they reached their bedroom. The local hospital had set up a small medical shelf for Kaidan and left all the necessary items and an emergency call unit just in case something happened. 

“Ooh, the balcony.” The commander strode towards the windows and pushed them open. The breeze from the ocean danced into the room and Shepard closed her eyes and relished in the prickly chill on her skin. It was a nice change from the hustle and bustle of the city, especially when the rebuilding was still going on. It had only been slightly more than 2 years since the war ended, after all. 

Some wounds just took longer to heal. 

Shepard wheeled Kaidan onto the small terrace outside their room and took in the scenery before them. It was perfect. 

The waves were washing gently up the sandy shore and the view they had was not obscured by rock formations or by the trees that littered around the front of the house. Shepard looked down and saw the small patio beneath the level they were on and smiled. She felt a small pang in her heart. 

“Hey, the patio’s a great place for spring. We can have barbeques there when you’ve recovered. You owe me dinner.” She turned back to him and knelt next to his chair. “I really want that, you know? I can’t cook and need someone to keep me fed.” Shepard reached out to brush a lock of hair away from his face. It was getting longer now, and she would have to trim his hair soon. The doctor had suggested shaving his head to make cleaning up easier, but Shepard’s temper had flared at the very mention of it. 

No, she refused to change him anymore than he already was. 

She bit on her lower lip and shifted herself to sit next to his legs; placing her head on his blanketed thigh and reached up with her other hand to hold his. 

All she wanted was to have her Kaidan back. She wanted no fame, no money, no nothing; just peace and a life that did not involve anymore fighting. She was tired. So, so tired. 

She stroked his fingers and remembered. Three months into her drug induced coma after the final fight, the doctors had finally made the decision she was well enough to be released from that state.  Medication and her injuries had fogged her mind to a certain extent, but instinct made her climb out of her cot and stumble out of the room they had placed her in. Her doctors had been shocked that she could move so soon after having barely recovered from her injuries and tried to restrain her, but she fought her way through, her mind setting off alarms that something wasn’t right, and all the while she demanded to know where Kaidan was.  

All she found was the husk of the man she loved, lying on a medical bed with wires and tubes connected all over him, with his eyes wide open, yet staring blankly at the ceiling. 

He wouldn’t respond or even blink when she called out to him. 

Brain damage, the doctors had tried to explain it as simple as possible to her with her mind still muddled from the medications. The attack on Mars had left his L2 implant somewhat unstable, but after his initial prognosis, the doctor had decided that he was fit enough to be released; but what they hadn’t expected was that the connection between his implant and the port built into his brain had been compromised to a point that it wasn’t detectable. 

The final push to the beam had hit him hard enough to rattle the implant, and combined with a sudden burst of his biotics, it caused a mini surge in his brain and… 

Shepard gritted her teeth and gripped his fingers firmer. 

It was a fifty-fifty chance of recovery, the doctors had predicted. The nanomachines that they installed in him worked to keep his body functioning, other than that, they said it depended on his willpower. 

His willpower. 

Two years, and she refused to stop hoping. 

“I’m still waiting for you, Alenko.” She stared at the ocean. “I kept my promise. You’d better show up.” 

They were finally in a place they could call home, and even with Vega accompanying them, she had never felt so lonely. 

Before she knew it, tears flowed and she cursed silently. Shepard sat up straight and wiped at her eyes vehemently, but she stopped when she noticed his hands. 

She was imagining things. Her obsession was playing tricks with her mind, she was sure. 

But the hands before her twitched ever so slightly, and she let herself believe what she was seeing when his fingers curled lightly; weakly.  It would have escaped her notice had she not been staring. 

Her mouth dropped open, and she looked up at his face. Kaidan’s eyes looked different. They were not completely blank like before. Shepard quickly kneeled and came face to face with Kaidan and held his face between her hands. 

“Kaidan?” Her tears flowed freely now. The dam had broken and that dying spark of hope flared. She planted a quick kiss on his lips and pressed her forehead against his. “Please tell me you can hear me.” 

Minutes passed like hours as she waited, and hoped; her thumbs rubbing his temples gently. 

“Please, Kaidan. I need you. Please give me something.” 

Then she heard it. 

That faint ‘Shhh’ and his fingers twitched again. 

She almost broke down right there and then. 

All these years of waiting.

Finally. Finally something. 

“JAMES!” Shepard moved her head and hollered into the house. She could barely register the thundering footsteps as James ran into their room. All she could feel was the first real smile she had smiled ever since she woke plastered on her face; the saltiness of her tears on her tongue as she let a small laugh burst out. 

She promised she would wait. 

Maybe fate decided it would stop making her do so anymore.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, I've just joined AO3 and decided to dig something out from my Tumblr to cross post on here. Did this piece about two years back and thank you again to cdrlizziebean for the beta! <3


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